Signs, Campgrounds, Dogs and Football

Amazon leases five Kentucky RV parks for seasonal occupancy by its Camperforce.  Four camps compete on amenities, things such as a lake view, partial shade, reliable WiFi, firepits and tables, and one even operates a full-service bar.  The one-way commute from them ranges from 7 to 15 miles.   These parks have to be fun to earn any Camperforce business.  We camp in the fifth, right across the street from Amazon and within the city limits of Campbellsville.  Everything is convenient, and we suffer through their miserable WiFi, their total lack of shade, and borderline hostile management.  Kat says we’re here to work, and besides, after Amazon work, most are too tired to dance, fish, or drink until they fall off a barstool.  I agree:  convenience is good!

 

I just wish the owners of this place weren’t such asses, and lazy ones, at that.   But there’s a silver lining to every cloud — they provide one unintended amenity.   That would be a succession of ridiculous signs.

 

Grandpa Simpson built Heartland.  He is said to be a self-made millionaire.   I have no proof either way, but that’s what the locals say.  He looks 80, still active and healthy, if deaf as a post.  But he is slowing down.   Grandpa supposedly gave Heartland RV to his son, Jeff, this year.  As they say, “The acorn don’t fall far from the tree.”  Jeff is at least as ardent a penny-pincher as his old man, and like Grandpa, Jeff is wont to post hand-lettered signs exhorting, threatening, and cajoling his campers to make Jeff’s life easier.  Grandpa had several printed years ago saying “Please Don’t Let Pets Pee on the Shrubs”.   Grandpa’s classic hand-written signs included “Dog’s Don’t Get ShoweRs.  No Dog’s in the Bath House” and “This Is ElectRic Heat – Keep The DooR Closed”.

 

There was no cable TV our first year at Heartland, but cable and many good channels arrived in Year Two.  Pink hated to be left alone, so I took her to the community center where she and I happily watched nearly two months of LSU football.  Around our fifth or six game, she began to occasionally growl at the screen.  Eventually I figured it out:  Pink hated Alabama!  At first I thought she recognized their uniforms, but The Google says canine eyes only have green and yellow color cones, but humans also have red. Now that I think about her growling when the network ran Alabama touchdown replays, she either had to recognize that A stolen from the Atlanta Braves, or read Alabama on their jerseys.  She was one smart dog.  Or maybe she sensed that when I growled and cursed she should agree.  But I digress.

Some parks advise their visitors to bring lots of insect repellent. Others warn you about extreme winter or summer weather. Hatteras Seashore does none of that, but what the hey, we used to be Tarheels. We know that country. You don’t need to tell us nothin’.
Old Pinkie on Dog’s WeaR Shoe’s Day

Our football watching ended soon after some old biddies pointedly told me “Dogs are not allowed in this building!”  “Says who?”  “There’s a sign on the door.”    “I believe that sign says that she is not allowed to shower.  Television is ok.”  A week or so later Grandpa posted “No Dog’s Inside.  Some Have AlleRgies.”  Somebody with hand-writing similar to mine got him in blue ball-point ink: “Dogs Can’t Give Their Allergies to People.”

 

Jeff has been in charge of us in Camperforce for a month.   He too loves his signs.   As every former camp host will tell you, the worst part of the job is cleaning restrooms.  Today I saw a new sign that absolutely took the cake.  “After You Use the Toilet Use This Brush.  We Can’t Clean Up Every Time Somebody Sits Down.”  In blue ball-point ink just below that, someone has already written, in a different hand:  “Jeff, Amazon Says It’s OK If We Leave the Skid Marks for You.”

 

Damn right!

5 thoughts on “Signs, Campgrounds, Dogs and Football

  1. Since I’m not there, I can’t tell what kind of drive one has from the other four parks, but I might be tempted to try one that has better management.

    ===

    Love the story about Pink, and Alabama. Sweet, and of course she knew what she was doing. 🙂

    ===

    Small-minded, big R signs.

    Good for whomever replied in the blue ink. 😉 😀

    ===

    There are so many things wrong with the sign about using the brush in/on the toilet.

    I hope you have a good supply of Lysol spray handy. Yikes.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We have been to hundreds of campgrounds but this is the first that tells the renter to clean the bowl. I will not. We will work within the system. I shall try to convince Jeff to upgrade his WiFi. But rest is so precious when the 50 to 60 hour weeks begin, I just don’t see how we can move.

      Perhaps I should read the works of Ho Chi Mihn and MLK for tips on guerilla war. Yeah!

      Like

      1. While I prefer peaceful solutions, if you must make war, you might want to go here:

        https://archive.org/details/TheArtOfWarBySunTzu

        ===

        Those Amazon weeks are very long and hard, as you have described, so I can see how even a short commute would be too much.

        Is there a nearby local cafe or such with better WiFi?

        Stocking up on Lysol spray, and maybe some seat covers might be a good idea for the duration.

        🙂

        Like

      2. Sunny T is a bit obscure for me. I like war history and theory as well as the next guy, but his stuff is too Zen-ish for a country boy to comprehend.

        I worked once at a place infiltrated by a Louisiana-educated Eastern thinker who was enamored with the Japanese way of running a business. Had Japan’s economy not tanked when it did, he would have had us reading Sun Tzu, and maybe getting tested on it.

        Like

  2. Your intelligence comes through here loud and clear, so I respectfully disagree with the statement about your not being able to understand _The Art of War_. 🙂

    Here is a summary version of some salient points:

    http://www.businessinsider.com/best-lessons-and-summary-of-the-art-of-war-by-sun-tzu-2015-3?op=1/#-tactics-dont-just-do-something-for-the-sake-of-doing-something-make-sure-it-helps-you-7

    You never know when you might get tested on it. 😉 😀

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s