Kat and I don’t see much television. We do Netflix. I enjoyed The Wire. Kat hated Breaking Bad so bad we didn’t last to Episode 5, and we both loved Person of Interest, and later, Justified. The last one takes place in Harlan County, KY, and stars the guy who was the sheriff in Deadwood, Tim Olyphant. Oly’s character in Justified is U. S. Marshall Raylan Givens, who shoots more people than he did in Deadwood. I’d put his six season kill total somewhere around 60, but who’s counting? Of the few bad guys Raylan doesn’t kill, Boyd Crowder (Walton Goggins, Jr. in Hollywood life), is Justified’s most charming and intellectual character. You saw without noticing the “Trump Digs Coal” signs held by various state delegations at the GOP convention. That phrase came from Justified. There is a strange kind of kinship between good guy Raylan and likeable bad guy Boyd. Late in the series Boyd revealed why: “Well, we dug coal together.”
Among its many memorable characters, Constable Bob stands out as a good guy. Bob’s a life-long wanna-be, and as a county constable, appears likely to never be. Raylan likes him though, and when the time comes and the chips are down, ol’ Bob comes through. Bob’s being beaten senseless by Yolo (You Only Live Once) a hit man hired to extract certain information likely to be lethal to another character. Yolo says to Constable Bob “Shit’s about to get real. You know what that means?” “Means you’re gonna hurt me worse.” “Yes, you do understand” and the beating went on.
I kinda identify with Constable Bob, maybe not as tough. This is where must I ask if you understand the meaning of “Shit’s about to get real.”
Let’s dig some coal together. If Kat and I have any Republican readers left, please allow me to mention that you have greater concerns than who controls the Supreme Court. If there are no people alive for The Supremes to judge, their political affiliations are moot. It doesn’t really matter who runs our government if its people live in caves. If you’re a Democrat, think about equal rights for all, social spending for those who need it most, and yeah, maybe that other thing, the end of the world. All of you, please, think hard about supporting Donald Trump and think twice about simply not voting. Not voting ain’t good enough. Vote for that mean, secretive old lady. She ain’t middle of the road, but she’s on the road, not upside down in the ditch. You can help save the world.
You can save me too. Kat has decided that should The Great White Snapping Turtle win or steal this election (he is close to Putin and those wily Russian hackers) that she and I will emigrate to Costa Rica. That would be a disaster. She’d likely kill me within a year. After over 40 years together, how could that be? Well, she thinks I speak Spanish because I took two years of it in high school and can usually read taco truck menus. But like you, I didn’t pay much attention in class. To say that I speak un poco Espanol is a damned lie. I speak un muy poco Espanol.
Jackson is of the Mediterranean mindset. Kat is as Teutonic as Kaiser Bill. Costa Rica is laid back, if not fast asleep. Research into life there has told me that ‘Ricans see Americans as too concerned with getting things done. In the CR, one looks at things as a process; it may take most of the summer to get your central cooling repaired, but in time it will get done, you know? A Salvadoran friend of mine (they are famed for their borderline Teutonic work ethic) likes to joke about the laziest Hispanics, those no-good Brazilians. “Ah Jackson, do you know what they say in Brazil? ‘Why put off for tomorrow what you can put off for next month?’ ”
If some ‘Rican suggests that to my Kat, I won’t be her first kill. Save me: throw some coal at Trump. I still have National Parks to visit!